How Do You Keep The Music Playing

How come nakakatulog ka sa gabi ng mahimbing kaht na alam mong galit ako??
How come nakakausap mo ako ng parang ok lang kahit alam mong merong ndi ok??
How come nakakapag sorry ka sa isang bagay na hindi mo na alam ang talagang dahilan bakit nagkaproblema??
How come naiisip mong walang problema kahit meron!!!
Pano mo nasabing gusto mong matanggal yung pain na asa dibdib ko kung ayaw mo marinig ang past ko??
Pano mo nasabing open ka sa akin kung hindi ka naman talaga open!
Ayaw mo tanggapin yung past ko dahil ba sa nasasaktan ka? or ayaw mo i-open ang past ko para ndi mo din ma-open ang past mo??
Parang ako naglalakad na may dalang napakalaking question mark...
Hindi kita kilala dahil ikaw mismo ang may ayaw...
namimis interpret mo ang mga kinukwnto ko sayo dahil CGURO akala mo
kaya ko kinukwnto dahil pnagmamalaki ko?
nagkkwnto ako sayo dahil gusto ko magng parte kta! yesterday, today, and tommorrow...
Hindi mo man lang magawang sabihin sa akin "ayusin natin ito bago tayo matulog"
may mga problema na hindi ipinagpapabukas...
meron din mga problema na kelangan ng paliwanag...
meron din mga problema na kelangan pnag-uusapan...
pero para sayo parang wala lang...
hindi kita makitaan ng emosyon...
naniniwala na lang ako sa sinasabi mong mahal mo ako....
pero tao lang ako...

Dear Miel

I don't know how to say this in a way but...
I love you so much...
what you have said are all appreciated...
Miel, ginagawa ko lahat ng iyon para sau kz mahal kita..
I want you to feel how much I care for you,
I want you to feel how important you are to me,
and I want you to feel how much I Love You...

I don't want to have regrets someday
and then sasabihin ko sa sarili ko
sana ginawa ko na lang...
sana naging ganto ako..
sana.. sana.. sana.. puro sana

Forgive me sometimes if I am hurt, I am liable to pain
but it doesn't mean I'm tired of you...
I won't be tired miel..
ang totoo hindi ko nga maramdaman sa sarili ko na mapapagod ako sau...
I don't know why...

To make this letter short..
Just want to say thank you for everything...
I know sometimes naiinis ka sa akin...
Natitigasan ka sa ulo ko and I'm sorry for that

Miel, always remember this...
I love you so much...
I am Holding on to your words and be strong for this relationship...
I won't give up even though we have some petty quarrels or even big one's...
I would rather be silent than said the words that could hurt you so much...
but if I did.. I didn't meant to hurt you...

Miel I Love You...
I Love You So Much...
No One else but only you...

A Burnt Biscuit

One of my friend sent me an email regarding this story of a burnt biscuit...
It touches my heart because it is true...just wanna share...
Below is the story:

When I was a kid, my mom liked to make breakfast food for dinner every now and then. And I remember one night in particular when she had made breakfast after a long, hard day at work.

On that evening so long ago, my mom placed a plate of eggs, sausage and extremely burned biscuits in front of my dad. I remember waiting to see if anyone noticed! Yet all my dad did was reach for his biscuit, smile at my mom and ask me how my day was at school. I don't remember what I told him that night, but I do remember watching him smear butter and jelly on that biscuit and eat every bite!

When I got up from the table that evening, I remember hearing my mom apologize to my dad for burning the biscuits. And I'll never forget what he said: "Baby, I love burned biscuits."

Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and I asked him if he really liked his biscuits burned. He wrapped me in his arms and said, "Your Momma put in a hard day at work today and she's real tired. And besides - a little burnt biscuit never hurt anyone!"

Life is full of imperfect things.....and imperfect people. I'm not the best at hardly anything, and I forget birthdays and anniversaries just like everyone else. But what I've learned over the years is that learning to accept each others faults - and choosing to celebrate each others differences - is one of the most important keys to creating a healthy, growing, and lasting relationship.

And that's my prayer for you today. That you will learn to take the good, the bad, and the ugly parts of your life and lay them at the feet of God. Because in the end, He's the only One who will be able to give you a relationship where a burnt biscuit isn't a deal-breaker!

We could extend this to any relationship. In fact, understanding is the base of any relationship, be it a husband-wife or parent-child or friendship!

"Don't put the key to your happiness in someone else's pocket - keep it in your own."

- see the story??? isn't it true?? after reading the story naging thankful na naman ako..because my miel is understanding as his dad.. i know i'm a hardheaded girl so i'm praying and hoping that he won't lose his patience to understand my imperfects.

"Love takes effort and acceptance. It won't always be a happy ride. You'll cry when you're hurt, you'll be sad when ignored. but hold on and always remember. Love hurts when 'it's real'.."

My Home

itatagalog ko ba ito? or in an english version?
taglish na lang para mas madali....

May mga taong palipat-lipat ng bahay
Meron din mga tao ang bahay dala-dalawa
at meron din naman mga tao simula ng ipinanganak hanggang sa
nag-asawa sila iisa lang ang bahay na tinirahan nila...

Ako masasabi ko, nung una dun ako sa palipat-lipat ng bahay
kasi? mapili ako pero hindi naman masyadong mapili...
ako kasi pag pipili ako ng titirahan gusto ko ung pang matagalan
gusto ko yung masasabi ko sa sarili ko..
"ay gusto ko na dito, dito na lang ako"

Pano ko masasabi na gusto ko na yung bahay na yun at ayw ko ng lumipat?
hmmm... basta pag nafeel ko yung sarili ko na cge ito na, dito na lang ako...
pag pakiramdam ko secure ako sa lugar na yun, pag nakita ko siguro na malabong
pasukan ng mga masasamang loob (nyak sobrang tagalog)
basta!! pagnaramdaman ko ang sarili ko
mas naniniwala kasi ako sa instinct ko eh.. sabi nga nila
"woman instinct is powerful and never been wrong"

mabalik tayo una nagpalipat lipat din ako ng bahay...
meron akong tinirahan ng isang taon kala ko dun na ako hindi pa pala
habang tumatagal kasi dumadami ang tao, iba't ibang tao...
nagiging populated akala ko safe...
kaso napasukan ako ng magnanakaw...
walang iniwan sa bahay ko ni isa...
lahat inubos kahit ang pera ko at mga gamit ko..
pati pagkain! di man lang nagtira!!
buti na lang anjan ang mga magulang ko at mga kaibigan ko
supportive kahit papaano... at least daw naranasan ko..
tama naman sila...

Lumipat na naman ako ng bahay this time yung bahay
bagong-bago.. lahat bago, fully furnished ito..
pero masyado kasi mahal dahil nga sa bago...
nirentahan ko na lang.. kaya di ako may-ari..
di ko kasi sya kaya bayaran at alam ko naman na napakamahal nya
kaya ganun na lang ang ginawa ko...

ito na naman lumipat na naman ako! hahaha walang katapusang paglipat ito!
ngaun naging praktikal ako dito..
sabi ko dapat malapit sa work...
sabi ko kahit second hand na yung bahay ok lang basta praktikal...
hehe ayun nga kaso kinuha din ng may-ari... tlgang pinahiram lang s akin
no choice ako bhay nya yun, nanghihiram lang ako (drama!)

after that nakahanap naman ako...
korak!! LUMIPAT AKO ULIT!!
hehehe wag ng magtaka...

ANG BAGO KONG BAHAY! BOW!
hahaha! nakakatuwa, ang linis...
maganda ang view, napakatahimik, wala masyado nakatira
fully furnished siempre! lahat bago...
infairness mahimbing ang tulog ko sa gabi...
yung mga taong nadadaanan ko pag nauwi ako galing work..
very very approachable...
san ka pa?? ang sarap sarap tumira sa bago kong bahay...
wala ako masyado agam-agam(nyaaa tagalog ulit!)
di mo naman maalis sa akin kung nakatingin ko sa mangyayari sa future...
pero kung ano man ang mangyari.. eh di go na lang ng go!!
go with the flow...
sabi ko nga lagi pagkahiga ko sa higaan ko...
"at last Im Finally Home"
Napamahal na nga ako sa mga tao doon...
ang babait kasi...
anytime na need mo sila anjan lang sila walang problema...
nakakatuwa di ba? parang ang saya sa lugar ko?
ang saya saya sa bahay na tinitirahan ko...
at!!! masasabi ko din na...
"hay salamat! andito na ako sa BAHAY KO!"
oo akin, ako may-ari
hindi nakikirenta..

Lucky to Have Him in My Life

Yes! exactly! feeling ko ako na ang isa sa mga pinakamaswerteng nilalang...
I am really thanking God for giving "Elmar" in my life...
Yes again, his name is Elmar hahaha my one and only (Pucha! kinikilig ako! wahahaha! High School??)
Anyway...
Paano ko nasabi??
kasi:
He's thoughtful
He's sweet
He knows how to take good care of me...
He has a lot of patience! lalong lalo na sa akin..
He's not taking you for granted...
He will show how important you are in his life....
too good to be true...
san ka pa?? ano pa hahanapin mo??

” I hug you so tight in a dark of night, where we can’t see other things but only you and me… Embracing all your weakness and strength… Accepting you wholeheartedly… Giving without asking anything for a return… and then you didn’t recognize a tears fell from my eyes…”

Challenge

I'm wrong...
because of the pain I've felt before...
I learned to feel numb...
I learned to be on the safe side...
I don't want to feel the pain again
so I seek for perfections...
leaving in a dream...
Reality is knocking
telling me to wake up...
I'm afraid to feel the pain..
Afraid time will come and fate will test our faith...
Afraid to suffer for heartaches...
but I'm most afraid of loosing him...
If he will give up on me,

Scream like nobody could hear you...

Gusto kong uminom ng alak at sumigaw!!!
What I have done wrong???
Ano pang kulang sa akin???
Am I not that good as your girl???
Ganun ba kasama ang ugali ko???

Kasi I'm tired!
Nakakapagod magbgay ng buo at ng lahat lahat!
Cguro nga mali ako...
Mali dahil sa sobrang pagbibigay ko masyado ako nag-eexpect!

Mali cguro ang nag expect ako masyado...
Ang bigat bigat ng pakiramdam ko...
Kelangan ba tlgang kasama ang sakit?

Again

I hurt him again...
It's not my intention...
My fear is killing me...
I'm too sensitive when it comes to him...
I can't overcome the pain I have inside...
A pain that haven't killed for years...

I don't want to lose him
but if I will keep on tolerating myself from my fears...
I might lose him...
I want to change...
I don't wanna stay like this forever...
I wanna be with him... always...

I wanna be in his arms...
I want to stay with him... beside him...
I will try my best not to give up
But if its his heart desire to go on...

I will let you go...

"Thank you for your patience for staying even if u have every reason to leave."

Push or Pull

One night I’m lying on my bed…
Looking at the ceilings…
Feeling my feelings…
Do I have to pull the strings?
Or I have to let go of the strings?
I don’t know which one I have to choose…
I want to let it go…
I want to pull it also…
I want to let it go so he can have time and space…
I want to pull him over me coz loosing him…
Would be the biggest mistake of my life….

LEttiNg You Go MeAnS FigHtiNg fOr yOu....

I can't continue loving the person
whose inlove or still inlove w/ someone...
looking at you makes it harder
Don't think that i haven't fight for you
because I just let you go...
Have you ever think that from the start
I'd already fight for you??
You know that I love you so
I love you enough to let you go...

my basic instinct

If time will come that you have to face your past and I’m not there to fill what’s lack
I want you to do two things for you, for me, and for that someone….
If you’ve realize that you still love her… send me a note of letting me go…
Even if it would be hard on your side to let me go…
At least we will not be leaving in a lie….
coz it will just break us into pieces until nothing' left for you
and most specially for myself...
You can't make it feel right when you know that it's wrong
so i won't you to move on...
even if it cuts like a knife...
time and space need shall be given from me to you...
don't hold my hand if your other hand wants to hold the other hand..
But if after what happen still it’s me you are longing for….
and it's me your heart crying for...
Once I’ve arrive pick me to the place where we have compromise…
i'll be waiting for you half of an hour...

Reasons for doing it so….

Why u chose me to be with you for your entire life?
Is it because you love me? Or it is your plan?
Why you want to spend the rest of your life as soon?
Is it because I’m the reason? Or just because you are not ready before compare for today?
Am I the reason why you want to start to spend the rest of your life?
Or you just can’t wait to have your own family like somebody else who already has?

My point in lying....

I can’t promise you that I will never lie to you
Coz these lies never meant of hurting you…
I would rather choose you to be hurt by the truth
Than to be hurt by my lies.
I lied or I will lie just to free you from having a burden…
But in time I will tell it also (of course not too much time)…
Its either I want to solve it first by myself
Or if I can’t find anymore strength to find a solution…
My sorrows and my failures shall not be yours
To ensure you do not fall into the same traps
Into which I fell…

Dilemma

Dilemma, dilemma, dilemma
I’m having a dilemma!
I don’t know if this is because I have phobia
Or I am just being paranoid…
I felt that he love me
But sometimes I can’t help myself to think
Yes, he do love me
Does he still love his ex-gf?
I know I should believe in him…
When I’m with him did he wish sometimes it’s his ex-gf he’s talking to and not me??
When he hugged me, or kissed me, or felt me was it me he really thinking or his ex-gf?
Does he really move on???
Lots of questions he already answered
And I believe in him
But I don’t know deep inside me there is this strange feeling…
I don’t want to entertain because it can ruin my trust to him…
Sometimes I just can’t help myself to think about it…
It’s like a sin tempting you to make a sin…
Does our song was their song????

The Way That I Love You

I have loved you since the first day I said “I love you”
I changed everything for you because “I have promised to myself that I will love you and I won’t hurt you”
I have loved you coz you’re you…
The way you have showed what you really feel for me…
The things that you used to do before…
And even if you have change,
Even if I have seen your weaknesses…
I will do my best to be strong and won’t give up…
All of those things… for you I will…..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LYdObbm5q3c

He Answered

They Played, but I danced
They rushed, but I wait

They gave up, but I believe

They Let Go, but I fight

They Left Me, and I moved on

Until I almost get tired..

tired of finding my own happiness...

but still i don't stop waiting...

believing there's someone who i deserve...

Then He came along

all of my dreams came true

He's too good to be true

I asked him to dance with me

and he dance with me...

I asked him to wait for me

and then he wait for me...

I asked him to believe in me

he told me I didn't have to ask, he already did from the start

I asked him to fight with me

he told me he won't let me go

I asked him to be with me

he told me he will go with me and spend the rest of his life...

Changes In My Life

I will start my blogging using the title...
changes in my life...
the moment we talked I already let you in to my life...
at first I don't know why...
but deep in my heart there was a voice...
I followed the voices that leads me to you...

Since the day you entered to my life
I have no regrets...
It is not my plan to change...
I chose to be numb,
but you change me by giving me a feelings...
I chose to be practical when it comes to heart matters,
but you change me by teaching me how to sacrifice for the person you love...
I chose to be like a stone,
buy you change me and give a heart to love wholeheartedly...
you bring back my trust to love...
you give me love...
you give me happiness...
when you came in to my life
is like having a new life